Dogs, Round Three

It was a beautiful spring day. The birds were out, the sun was bright, and the trees all had new growth heralding the oncoming season. I was working with Angie who was my regular partner for a little less then a year. Angie is a fiery red head with all the stereotype that entails. She is smart, tough, and very outspoken and a bit of a flirt. We had been having an average day running 5 calls and it was around 3pm. We got toned for 23 y/o male shortness of breath, history of anxiety. Pretty straight forward call. En route we were warned by volunteers on scene to watch out for R.A.L.s, this means Rottweilers At Large, our code for big unfriendly dogs near the scene. Angie got a little anxious, we shared an apprehension of other people's dogs.

Once on scene we saw what they meant, two full sized doberman pinchers were running around our ambulance barking and growling. We had a short discussion in the rig over who was getting out first and I lost the paper, rock, scissors. I'm sorry, I know, this was not chivalrous, but I'm telling you I don't like big dogs, especially dobermans. I rolled down the window and yelled at them and that didn't work, so I crawled in the back and got my drug box thinking I could hit them with it if I had to. So I composed myself and took a deep breath. One, two, THREE! I jumped out and charged the dobermans. They growled and barked but went back to their own yard. Angie then hopped out and we started our long walk up the driveway.

About halfway up my traitorous drug box chose that moment to spring open and dump all my gear onto the ground. I had forgotten to lock it on the last call. Angie told me to go up to the house and check on the patient and said she would be right up. I looked back toward the yard containing those evil canines and asked her if she was sure. Yeah, go ahead. She glanced down there too. I took of without her.

Almost to the house I looked back one more time and saw Angie on the ground picking up my gear and casting surreptitious peeks down toward the yard that was now devoid of the giant monsters. Wonder where they went. About then I noticed the Fire Chief sneaking up behind Angie with a malicious look in his eyes. He saw me and put a finger to his lips. Shhhhh.

No way. He wouldn't.

He did.

He reached down and grabbed her leg tightly giving his best doberman impersonation. Angie screamed and suddenly became epileptic, seizing across the gravel driveway yowling like a growler on a fire engine. And did a somersault. Landing on her booty. She froze for a second, eyes impossibly wide and jumped up and swung. She caught the Fire Chief in the chin and leveled him. He flew over backwards and struck the edge of the driveway, helmet knocked clean off his head.

In the house I attempted to assess this poor man and his anxiety attack and I could not stop giggling. To the point he asked the other responders if I was always like this. I HAD to tell him the story. Calmed him down and he laugh too, with Angie glaring holes in the back of my head.

When asked later the Fire Chief said it was totally worth it and he would do it again.